I never thought I would want to get married.
And actually, considering I’m set to get married the day after the world is supposed to end, it may, of course, never happen.
But let’s say it does happen. I want to document the process of going from an anti-bride to a wedding-mag-buying fiend and graduating to an actual “Mrs”.
Looking back over my dating years I find it quite amusing I’ve found myself here.
I’ve been in long-term relationships before, set up house with previous partners and been “in love” many times over.
But when it came to the crunch I was never sure I could promise someone a lifetime together.
Yes, I loved them right now, but tomorrow? Next week? Next year? It was too much. I am a realist enough to know that people change and that I wasn’t the same person I knew two years ago – so who on earth will I be two years from now? How could I convince someone to promise to love someone I don’t even know yet?
I also subscribed to the “it’s just a piece of paper” club; the “I don’t need the law to say I love someone” variety; the “It’s just a marketing scam to make you spend lots of money” team, the Brangelina “Why would I get married when same-sex couples still can’t” squad, the “independent woman don’t-need-no-man-ever” society.
And there’s no doubt that subconciously I was also probably scared off marriage as I watched the divorce rate around the world grow higher.
Basically, I wasn’t sold.
I loved the idea of weddings and marriage, though. The celebration of commitment, the fact that weddings are (almost always) a great party for a great reason, and just the simple fact that there’s so much negativity in the world – weddings and marriage remind us of what can be the sweeter things in life.
But in my heart of hearts I never thought I would be a bride. I was a tomboy. I never owned a Barbie – let alone bridal Barbie, and I certainly never staged fake weddings between Big Ted and Jemima. I didn’t (and still don’t) *do* high heels or any kind of pretty shoes. Sparkly things give me migraines. Tulle sends body-wide shivers through me (have you FELT that stuff?). And people cashing in on this madness – bridal consultants and wedding planners? Right up there with used car salespeople as far as I was concerned. They’re selling a dream, not a reality.
I was not a girly girl, therefore I would not ever be a bridey bride.
Then I met my Beyonce*. Not She-Of-Ample-Booty (although my darling has a very cute butt), but the man I would eventually say that I’d be honoured to marry.
I’m not going to justify right now why or how this one person somehow quelled all my fears of the future to a point where I knew I wanted to marry him from the get-go (that’s another post entirely), but suffice to say he has.
Within minutes – literally – of our engagement, we were thrown head first into the whirlwind world of impending nuptials.
The questions, which I’d had been duly warned on but I honestly thought would be Different For Me, came thick and fast and from all factions.
“When’s the big day?”, “Who are your bridesmaids?”, “What’s your theme?”, “Are you going to lose lots of weight?”, “What will I wear?”, “What will you wear?”… it was, in a word, laughable. And laugh we did. I think I even cried at one point. Happy tears, and then overwhelmed tears as I realised our little happy love coupling had now become something much bigger than both of us.
Another question of sorts was asked of me via Twitter: ”Congrats, but it’s 9.21am and I’m still seeing no wedding blog on Stuff. Chop chop. Page impressions going begging.”
Righteo then, I’ve lived my life online, why stop now?** So here we go.
I’ll be writing about my journey – planning, thinking, procrastinating – right up to the big day, but more interestingly looking at various issues and questions that come up along the way. Ready or knot, here we go.
What were your views on marriage as a child or teen? Have they changed as you got older?
*Cute story. The day after we became engaged, I used the word “fiancé” and my fiancé overheard and thought I called him Beyonce. It’s stuck. More on this at a future date.
**Hypothetical. I know many of you, especially boy folk, will be eye-rolling right now. That’s fine… this blog probably won’t suit your requirements. Toodles.
Congratulations Greer! I’m getting married too, in early March. I subscribe somewhat to your anti-bride ideas. For example, I will have no wedding party, I am wearing a lovely teal cocktail dress from easybuy as my wedding dress, the wedding’s at our house, there’s no sit down dinner, and no wedding dance, garter removing (there won’t even be a garter), bouquet throwing, nada. It’s going to be a really fun party for close friends and family, and should come in under $5000. I’ll be interested to follow your plans. The planning is only as stressful as you let it be, and likewise the cost is only as much as you let it be.